The Play
Cast members and brief description of role.
Alida: Owner of the troublesome tit.
The Oncologist: Brilliant oncologist does a lot of research and clinical trials. He chooses the treatment plan. Very heavy accent. Has a little statue of a dung beetle on his desk (I love a kak-roller- they are always funny to observe).
The Doctor: A doctor with a wicked sense of humour that does a lot of the follow up consultations. She compared my tumour to hummus.
The Receptionist: She greets you with a big smile, also schedules all the appointments
The Friendly Vampire (Seriously this is on her door): She is the nurse that draws blood to get tested before every treatment. She is a rockstar and never struggles to get a vein. She is a big supporter of CHOC (Children with Childhood Cancer) Next year I will all haunt you to help contribute easter eggs for her Easter project.
The Case Manager: She takes care of all the money matters. (having cancer is not cheap, will not recommend —rather get a sports car for an almost midlife crisis) She liaise with the medical aid, complete income protector forms and any other money related queries.
The Patient Navigator: She is the additional bedside manner for the Doctors. She sits in every consultation and helps to translate technical doctor speak when you are scared or overwhelmed. I also contact her for the quick chemo side effect questions in between doctor consultations. She has the patience of a saint.
The Pharmacy ladies: They take care of all the magic potions. Making sure that it is already to go on treatment day.
The Chemo Nurses: They administer the magic potions and monitor you with a hawk’s eye. They are quick with a smile and sympathy.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, having breast cancer is a drama with plenty of cast members all waiting to play their part to get the Troublesome Tit behaving again.
[1] This is the setup at one oncology practice. I have moved practices and there is a big overlap, but it is also different. As discussed later in the book, it is important to find an oncologist and practice that is the best fit for you. Your needs can also change if you are a long hauler, like me.
